Kathryne Alonso

Broker Associate

Moving With Children: When is the Best Time/

You have just been promoted, but it involves a transfer.  You need to move, but you think it will be best for the children to wait to move in the summer. WRONG! It's wrong for two reasons.  First, if one partent stays behind, both parents, as well as the children, are stressed with the separation.  Moving should be an adventure in which the whole family participates. Second, by the time a child is in school he has friends and moving any child away from his friends is traumatic for the child.  Moving in the summer means it will be that much harder for your child to find new friends quickly.

I was a Navy Brat and had to move every two years.  I was the new kid in school seven times.  I was also a corporate wife and moved three times with children.  So, my advice is, if your child is in elementary or middle school, please move during the school year...even if it is just for the last few weeks of the school year.  When you start a new school at the beginning of the year, the teacher is too busy with all the paper work to figure out who is new.  The students are all new to her.  The kids are so glad to see their old friends again that they don't notice the new kid either.  It is much better not to move until at least the first month of school is over. After Christmas is a good time. The teacher will usually assign a "buddy" to help the new kid.  All the kids will notice that there is a new kid and be curious and usually friendly.  As a parent, encourage your child to invite his new friends over for play dates, for a movie night, or get a group up to go to the high school football game.  Don't wait for someone to invite your child. This will give you a chance to call parents for permision.  Childrens' parents often become your new friends.

High School is a differnet matter since credits have to transfer.  Call the new school system at first notice of transfer to see what their policies are.  Sometimes mid-semesters will conincide and you can move mid-year.  Moving high schoolers is easier these days with social media since you teen can call, text, tweet, Facetime, etc. to keep up with their old friends.  The problem will be to get him or her involved with "live" people.  Join a swim club or gym.  A job would be great, but they are usually hard to find even for the locals.  Find some way to have your teen volunteer-anywhere, at the Vet's office, at a homeless shelter, or help with Little League teams, etc.  You have to get them out of the house and meeting new people.

Moving is hard on the whole family.  Try to start a few new traditions at your new home...weekly movie nights, going to ball games, or just a family game night with pizza.  There is an old saying "if Mama's not happy, nobody's happy", but I always thought if the kids are happy, then Mama and Daddy at least have a chance to be happy.